Ah.. Damn.. School gonna start. CNY was so good.. or rather I thought it was so much better than my school life. Dying under the pile of school work; go home, get pissed with myself for being such a loser to my family, always not being considerate.. always getting pissed.. Why?? I need someone to help me. tell me what's wrong.

I cant stand the feeling of being so alone.. I can't escape from the cycle.. Wake up.. Go school.. Feel alone in my class.. so many people around me, but somehow. I cant fit in.. CEC now.. have to be good.. So.. I go school with a barrier over me.. trying to satisfy my teachers and fellow classmates needs.. Then meet up with good friends.... Can't keep wearing it.. Feeling the weight of it pressing me down..


I guess I love talking to my cousins.. especially my older cousins..they go thru same things as me.. some even go thru my same teachers.. It feels good to have similarities with them.. Love IT!!